About A STROKE OF ART

My brother, Benjamin Vandermark, was an artist for most of his life. In 2010, at the young age of 44, Ben suffered a massive stroke, which caused him to lose the use of his right side, and most of his ability to communicate. Being right handed, it looked as if his painting days had ended for good. But GOD had other plans. While going through mentally and physically grueling rehab, Ben was handed a dry erase board as a means to try and communicate somehow. Instead, what he did with his left hand stunned us all.

From that day on, Ben didn’t look back and the world truly knew his ability to paint was a gift from God, as it transferred over to his right hand. You will find some of his artwork here on this page or on the facebook page “A Stroke of Art.” If you are interested in purchasing some of his miracle work you may contact me at the email address tracivandermark@msn.com or via the Facebook “A Stroke of Art” page. The Facebook page also has a gallery of available artwork and prices. A glimpse of a few of them are shown below.

Filipendulous

Nearly two  years have passed since I wrote here. One year and 9 months. 644 days… over 15,000 hours… 920,000 minutes… we won’t even bother with seconds.  That is a chunk of time to be absent. But be aware, it is still time in which I looked at the Bible.  I looked at it from top, bottom, side to side and angles I had never been aware of. I found myself fiercely ripping it apart… trying to find a thread to hold on to.

You see, at some point… I began to question God. I never questioned His existence, but I questioned His method of doing. He was supposed to love me. He was supposed to love me more than I love my own child. Yet, I found myself in circumstances that I would never allow my child to go through if I had the means to prevent them. He was supposed to sing over me while I had sweet sleep, yet I would awaken in the night with pain that threw me into the fetal position. What kind of a parent is this?  What kind of night watchman was “on the job?” As every day struggles and trials bombarded me, I withdrew from God. What I was seeing in my life was not what I saw in His word.  His word said He was “good,” and “just,” and “LOVE.”  I was not able to see any of that.  I saw a young brother in his 40’s that had his life stripped to nothing when he had a massive stroke. I saw his ability to lead praise team and play music stripped away with one move of a tiny clot of blood into a tinier brain vessel.  I saw sisters with mysterious illnesses, with cancer and lymphoma and horrible effects of treatment. I did not see… or feel… “love.”

And what was I hearing from preachers? Because of God’s grace, you don’t have to do anything. Just believe and you can be victorious. God’s presence assures victory.  Oh really? Well, I guess He is not present here.  And then… “If things aren’t working for you you are doing something wrong.  A curse, causeless, can not stand.”  But… but I thought I just had to believe?  Now I’m back to works? No, grace… no, you have to do this and confess that and … no, you don’t have to do anything… no..

Then I made the mistake of looking at “Christians.” I started listening to what the “believers” had to say. I started thinking that what the tattered body was thumping must be right. Must be I missed something somewhere. Maybe I shouldn’t love the people I love or enjoy their company. But I didn’t like what I was hearing and seeing.  I saw militant masses picketing and making people want to turn away from God.  If God was as  hateful as they make Him look, who would want to be near Him? Did I want to be near Him?

I didn’t.  I don’t. To clarify, I don’t want to be near the god that the “anti-everything” Christians project. Jesus was a man with no social media platform… a man that traveled by foot through towns and deserts… and yet He had thousands upon thousands of followers.  That doesn’t sound like a man that made people feel unworthy.  It sounds like a man that oozed unconditional love, which is what humanity longs for.

What was I to do? After 644 days and over 55 million seconds, I still had no answers to my questions. The thread I was hanging from was becoming increasingly tattered. What were my options? I had two simple choices:  Hold on… or let go.

Let go, and continue living in a world of despair, pain, and hopelessness.  I was there already.  I didn’t like that world.  Yet here I was, contemplating letting go of God, and succumbing.  BUT… and it’s a BIG BUT. (ha).  But something inside me tugged on that string. Even if I wanted to let go, in my spirit I knew that God still existed.  I knew that He was still in control… and even though I didn’t like how He was controlling things, I could not deny His presence.  Shutting Him out was not going to make me a happier person or give me peace.

So… my only option turned to hanging on. Even if the only piece of thread left was my knowledge that God existed, that was what I had to choose to hang on to.  So I’m hanging.  I need to get to know Him all over again.  I need to look at His word to me with fresh, hungry eyes and a thirsty heart. I need to not focus on all of the wrong I see in the churches and people around me, and I need to look in His eyes and see what He reflects. As I get to know Him again, I know that the thread will strengthen, and turn into a cord that won’t be easily tattered and frayed.

If you find yourself struggling in your spiritual walk.  If you are at the point where you don’t know whether to hang on or let go, I encourage you to just get back to the basics.  Simply accept the fact that God loves you… that Jesus loves you.  In the depths of your dark moments there is nothing else you need to know.  Know He is there, and ask Him to help you hold on… to WANT to hold on. Learn to hear His voice over the thousands of other voices you are bombarded with each day. Just “hang” with Him… and you will find your peace.

photo credit:  (www.firstchurchrwc.org)

Genesis 22: The Offering of Isaac

Now it came about after “these things,” (I love how so much is summed up in those two words)… that God tested Abraham…” After what things? After he obediently put out Hagar and Ishmael, both of whom he loved, in obedience to God. After he walked uprightly with Abimelech, the king, whom he had previously deceived. After these things… God tested him. I would think that sending Ishmael and Hagar away would have been enough of a test. But the testing continued. God called his name…. “Abraham.” And he IMMEDIATELY answered “Here I am.” Do I do that? Or when God says “Traci” do I think… now what?? Or is my mind and heart so cluttered with everyday struggles of life that I don’t hear him at all? May I learn to have a spirit so still that as soon as He says my name… whether it be a shout or a whisper… my response is automatic and immediate… “Here I am.” 

God tells Abraham “Take your son, your only son.” We know that biologically Abraham had two sons. But Ishmael, not being part of God’s promise, was put out. That is how serious God was about sending him out of Abraham’s life. So serious that now Abraham had only ONE son in the eyes of the Lord. Obviously, Abraham was not to look back. Not to reconsider Ishmael. He was to not only put him away physically, but mentally and emotionally as well.

Do we have an Ishmael in our lives? Do we have something or someone… not part of God’s promise or plan for us… that we are holding onto? Is there something we need to consider as DEAD in our lives in order for God to fulfill His purpose in us?  A few years ago I was facing that challenge. But my problem was I did not KNOW if God wanted him “put out.” I did not know if having him in my heart would stop God’s anointing from flowing in my life… or keep His purpose for me from being fulfilled? How could I know? I could not reason it out. I tried to remain in peace about that situation. I needed to remain in peace to the point where when God gave me an answer… when He said “Traci”… I needed to be able to hear that voice. I needed to keep my spirit in peace and not to struggle with the issue… but to remain in faith, and close enough to God to hear Him when He called.  And I couldn’t do that because I kept worrying about the situation.  So what happened?  I did not listen. When God spoke to me I found reasons to say “Maybe that wasn’t really God.” I justified any reason to keep someone in a position in my life that they shouldn’t have held. That person became an idol, because I put their presence before God’s. I was severely sidetracked and it led to getting out of God’s perfect will for me. Friend, if God is telling you to do something… do yourself a favor… Just Do It.

So Abraham is told to take Isaac, now considered his only son, whom he loved, and offer him as a burnt offering on “one of the mountains which I will tell.”  Now, Abraham is asked to take his only son that he has left. One that he loves with all his heart… and to offer him up to the Lord as a burnt offering.  So Abraham rose… early in the morning. We aren’t  told here that this caused great distress… as we were told about Hagar and Ishmael. We ARE told that God said to do something… and Abraham DID IT. (If he had not done it, Isaac would have become an idol.)

We KNOW it wasn’t easy. But here I believe we get the first real picture of Abraham’s faith in action. Perhaps he was going by former testimony. Perhaps he felt “God brought me through the heartache of Hagar and Ishmael, God will bring me through this as well.” Friends, when we encounter a new test from God, we need to look back at what we’ve already been brought through… and know and believe that God can do it again… and will. He does NOT ask us to do something He won’t equip  us for. God doesn’t CALL the equipped… He equips the called.

Have you been ask to lay all you have left on the altar? Have you been asked to lay down that very thing you thought God was going to use to fulfill his promise in your life? What would you do? Lose all hope? Shove your dream under the bush like Hagar did and weep? Or believe, that God is somehow still going to work this out as Abraham did? Abraham didn’t even know where this sacrifice was to take place. He simply started walking when God said to go. God said “I will SHOW you where.” Too often we don’t want to move until God tells us when, where and how. But Abraham stepped out… and we’re told in verse 4 that Abraham raised his eyes and saw the place from a distance. God didn’t point and say “There it is.” Abraham KNEW. He allowed God’s spirit to speak to him, and he listened. He was able to hear because his mind was not muddled with fear and doubt.

If he had spent the last three days in grief and turmoil he would have cluttered up his spirit. His faith didn’t start operating when he laid Isaac on the altar. It started operating when God said “Take your son, your only son, whom you love.” He headed out to those mountains in faith… and he remained in faith. He didn’t speak words of doubt and fear along his journey. In fact, his first recorded words in this incident are “Stay here with the donkey… I AND the lad will go yonder.. and WE will worship and RETURN TO YOU.”

He knew then, somehow, that both of them would come off that mountain. He had to have that faith. God had promised that His promise to Abraham would be fulfilled through Isaac. Hebrews 11:19 tells us that “Abraham reasoned that if Isaac died, God was able to bring him back to life again.” (NLT)

God has a promise to you… but before it can come to pass… you may be asked to lay it on the altar. You need to be willing to let it go… knowing God is supreme and He will somehow bring it to pass. Abraham didn’t say “But God… you said your promise would be fulfilled through Isaac.” No. He simply stepped out in faith and obedience and out of love for a sovereign God. Do you love God more than your dream? Do you long to be one with Him more than you long to receive His promise to you? Do you seek companionship with the one who promised… more than you desire what was promised? That day may come when you are asked to choose. To prove your love. Your commitment. That day came for me. I had gotten out of God’s will and I knew it. And I knew what had to be done. It hurt to pull the root of that promise out of my heart… but I longed for God’s face more than I longed for seeing the face of the one I loved again. But OUCH.

Abraham spoke forth faith. He said “WE will return to you.” No wonder he made the “Faith Hall of Fame” in the book of Hebrews.

So Isaac walks up the mountain with his dad and asks an obvious question: “Where is the lamb for the burnt offering?” If that were my child, I would have burst into tears. But Abe’s answer was again one of faith “God will provide for Himself the lamb…” Most of us would like to think that is as far a we need to take our faith. See Lord? I’m DOING IT! I’m walking up the mountain… just me and Isaac. I’ve gathered the wood, Lord. Don’t you see?

And what about Isaac’s questions when Abraham bound him and laid him on the altar? Could we continue to sacrifice our dream when it’s crying out “Daddy… what are you doing?” And Abraham at this point could have cried out… “I’ve gone this far God… don’t you see I’m willing? I’ve bound him and laid him on the altar. PLEASE don’t make me kill my dream, God.” But God is silent. How far was Abraham willing to go? How far are YOU willing to go? How much are you willing to sacrifice? Are you willing to raise the knife? Are you willing to go all the way in sacrificing your dream? Your future? Your promise? Are you willing to put the knife all the way through it? To completely kill it… knowing God can raise your dream, your promise, your future from the dead? It is all by faith…

As Abraham had the knife raised… and ready to penetrate Isaac… God stopped him. He said “Abraham… Abraham…” and he answered again.. “Here I am.”  God lets him know “Now I know that you fear God, since you have not withheld your son, your only son, from me.” God did not take Abraham to the point where He needed to raise Isaac from the dead. But Abraham, in faith, was willing to go that far.. knowing nothing was impossible with God and that HE would fulfill His promise to him.

Friend, are we willing to go that far? When God requires that we lay that someone or something down on the altar, do we humor Him, thinking He’ll see what great faith we have and put a stop to it all? What if… God asks you to use that knife? What if you are required to completely put to death your dream? Your promise? Can you be obedient to the point of knowing God will raise it from the dead if it is His will to do so? And can you .. or I… come to grips with the fact that it may not be His will to raise it? We need to be willing to completely sell out for God. To be able to let go of everything in our hands and our hearts… just to be able to touch His face and hear His voice.

At that point.. Abraham heard a ram in the bushes, and offered it up to God as an offering. We need to give something back to God when He gives us back that thing we loved. We need to give a sacrifice of thanksgiving and praise and worship.

It was not until Abraham was willing to give it all up that His promise was fully established. In 15:1 God just gently reminded him “Don’t fear… and your reward shall be very great.” Perhaps it was those words that Abraham kept in his heart and mind as he walked up that mountain.. and bound his son… and lay him on the altar… and raised the knife to slay him. Let those exact same words sink into your spirit. “Do not fear, Traci.. I am a shield to you. Your reward shall be very great.”

Genesis 21: Hold On

So much in this chapter speaks to me… even screams to me at parts.

“Then the Lord took note of Sarah as He said… and the Lord did for Sarah what He had promised.”  What a glorious verse. I love knowing that God takes note of me. That one day He’s up there and …. suddenly… I’m on His mind.

And then… the Lord took note of TRACI… and did for TRACI… what He had promised.” He has done that… and will continue to do that for me… and for you… over and over and over again.

Sarah said “God has made laughter (Isaac) for me… and everyone who hears will laugh with me.” And we have, haven’t we?? We’ve looked at this situation from every angle… from the faith angle to the human angle of a 100 year old man getting his 90 year old wife pregnant. And we laugh… as God said we would… and as Sarah said we would.

So Sarah has her son… the son of the promise. And one day she’s looking out the window of the tent and sees Ishmael, born to Abraham and Hagar, mocking Isaac. Taunting him. Picking on him. And anger rose up within her and even though this was a mess that SHE masterminded… now she puts her foot down and says Hagar and Ishmael have to go.

Now, earlier, when Hagar was pregnant and Sarah wanted her gone, Abraham simply said “She’s your maid, do with her as you wish.” But NOW… Ishamel is 14 to 15 years old, a young man. And when Sarah speaks the same thing to Abraham THIS time we’re told “And the matter distressed Abraham greatly because of his son.” We always hear sermons about Abraham’s great faith where sacrificing Isaac was concerned. But what about Ishmael? He was his only child for 14 years. They had bonded. They had spent many days and nights and years together. And now… Sarah wants him gone. Just like that. And Hagar as well. Abraham and Hagar must have bonded too, and not just because of their son. They had spent intimate nights together. Probably talked and laughed and shared the whole pregnancy experience together (I’m guessing here), raised a child together… and now, she and her child had to go.

But it wasn’t only Sarah that wanted this. God says to Abraham “Whatever Sarah tells you, listen to her.”

So the next morning, after what had to have been a sleepless night, Abraham gets up, packs some bread and water and puts it on Hagar’s shoulder… and gave her the boy and sent her away. How heartbreaking! Abraham loved his son, and probably Hagar too at this point. This, to me, also shows a measure of Abraham’s faith. God told him “don’t be distressed because of your son and the maid. I will make a great nation from him also, because he is your descendant.”

So they left, and wandered about in the wilderness of Beersheba. All of her resources were gone… there was nothing left to sustain her. Have you ever been there? I have. Have you ever just been obedient… loved deeply… gave up your dreams for someone else’s, only to be put out, turned away without warning? To find yourself alone… wandering… with nothing left? I have. And she did all that she could do in that moment. She laid down what she had… what she was trying to protect. She hid it under a bush… and lifted up her voice… and WEPT.

Again… have you ever been there? I certainly have. And this next part touches me. Verse 17 doesn’t say “And God heard Hagar crying.” It says, “And God heard the lad crying.” He heard Ishmael… what she lived for… her hope… her child.. her dream that she put down in her wilderness. In my wilderness, is it the dream that I let go of that cries out to God? Is it my hope that I’ve given up on that He hears crying God responds to the cry of hope that has been cast down. He responds in that spiritual realm.. to the purpose He has for me that I just turned my back on. My purpose… my hope… my dream wants the fulfillment that can only come when I yield it to my creator. When I lay His purpose for me aside, it, in turn, cries out to God.. .and God doesn’t come down and wrap His arms around me or dry my tears or put my head on His shoulder. God just yells from heaven and says what He said to Hagar.

“What is the matter with you, Traci?” Do not fear, for God has heard the voice of your dream… of your life.. .of your hope… crying out from where (he) is. Crying out from where you left it.

Arise, Hagar, lift up the lad and hold him by the hand. Arise, Traci, lift up your dream… hold it by the hand. Hold it tightly, for I will make something great out of it.

Then God opened Hagar’s eyes and she saw a well of water, and she went and filled the skin with water and gave the lad a drink. And God was with the lad, and he grew.

What does it take for God to open my eyes? Is it a gentle touch or a slap aside the head? Is it a whisper? Is it a yell? One point of truth is this… when I am crying  in my wilderness, God will open my eyes. But first, in faith, I have to pick that dream back up and take it in my hand. When God told Hagar to pick Ishmael back up and take him by the hand, she had no idea how they were gonna’ survive. God hadn’t opened her eyes yet. In FAITH… I need to hold on to my hope. Would God have opened Hagar’s eyes and showed her the water if she didn’t do what was commanded I don’t think so. He would have let her go… and found another way to fulfill His purpose for Ishmael. If I don’t arise…and be obedient… and raise back up the dream and the hope I’ve hidden under a bush, God will find someone else to fulfill that purpose to which He has called me.

Hagar filled up at the well. She drank and she gave sustenance to her son. To her dream. A word from God was all she had… and her obedience to that word allowed her eyes to be opened and her life, and the life of Ishmael, to be spared. 

And God was with him, and he grew.

And God is with my dream… my hope… my life. And He will raise it up and cause it to grow, and fulfill its purpose, as well.

PS:  Great Read:Never Stop Dreaming

 

Genesis 20: Ooops, He Does It Again

Well, Abraham does it again! We don’t know why he moved from where he was… we have no indication that God told him to leave where he was settled. We find out here that Abraham made a pact with his wife, Sarah, saying “Everywhere we go… say you’re my sister.” Now, at this point Sarah is roughly 89 years old. She was obviously still a beautiful woman.

They enter new territory and the King sends for Sarah and brings her to the castle. Once again, God intervenes and tells the King, Abimelech, that he is a “dead man” because Sarah is married. Abimelech proclaims his innocence, saying what he did he did with integrity. And I love the way God responds by saying “Yes, I know in the integrity of your heart you’ve done this… and I also kept you from sinning against Me; therefore I did not let you touch her.” 

How many times has God protected me from sinning against Him? How many times did He know that one more brush of that man’s hand against mine… one more  minute alone with him… would have caused me to sin? Me… walking away disappointed, not thinking to thank my Creator for protecting me. How many times was I angry at God for not giving me what I wanted? A certain job? A particular relationship? For answering “No” to my prayers. And how many times did I feel He just wasn’t paying attention to me Ignoring me up there in heaven when all the time He was saying “Honey, if you could only see the big picture you’d know why I must keep silent right now, or deny this request that looks perfect to you. But I see disaster and heartbreak.”  I can’t help but wonder.

So Abimelech confronts Abraham on his deception… and Abe gives his excuse for his lie. He explains that it was only a half-lie because Sarah IS his HALF sister… and he was afraid for his life because the people of the land had no fear of the Lord. That’s almost funny when you think about it. And in the back of my mind I can’t help but wonder WHY Abraham didn’t get severely punished for HIS sin? I will always wonder I suppose, unless you have an answer for me.

Abimelech sends Sarah and Abraham off with goods and money, and tells them they may settle wherever they please in the kingdom. In the meantime, God had closed up all the wombs of the women in the home while Sarah was with the King, but once Abraham prayed for them all, God restored health to the household.

Bottom line: Abraham, once again, did not give God a chance to show His faithfulness. Yes, God stepped in on his behalf… but WHY did Abraham still find the need to do everything himself? This is God… who came and spoke to Abraham… sent messengers in person… talked audibly to him. Why does he still feel at times that God is not with him? Were there too many silent days? I know I get antsy when God is silent. Who am I to judge Abraham?

Genesis 19: What’s Wrong With Looking Back

So… Lot immediately recognized the angels for who they were. Is it because they had such a glorious appearance? I’m sure that was part of it, as even the men of the city spoke of their good looks. Or was it also because Sodom was such an evil place that the presence of good was so easily recognizable? The angels wanted to spend the night in the town square, but Lot, knowing how evil the place was, convinced them to stay at his house.

Then we begin to see the carnality of Sodom. The men wanted to have homosexual relations with the angels… but to avoid that Lot offered up two of his virgin daughters instead. This shocked me. In that place, women were completely devalued… and the men knew no restraint. But such is the condition of society… both then and now.

The angels told Lot to take his family, his future sons-in-law, and leave… IMMEDIATELY. Then verse 16 tells us: “But he hesitated.” Can you imagine being so swayed by the world that you hesitate to leave when a messenger of God, that you clearly recognized, is telling you there is certain doom about to take place? In my heart I scoff at Lot. I say “tsk tsk” and “shame on him.” How foolish could he be. Then I stop and think. How many times have I hesitated when I have been told to “let go” of something that could bring my destruction? It may not have been God telling me to move to another city… but I can look back on my life and see where He has told me to let go of certain relationships, but I held on too long, altering my path and getting out of His perfect will for my life.

And then… the angels grabbed him by the hands and the hands of his wife and daughters and led them out of the city. The verse says they did this “because the compassion of the Lord was upon them.” How awesome is that? There is nothing to add to that… it speaks for itself. I’m sure if I look back at my times of disobedience I can find where God had compassion on me, and spared me from what could have been outcomes more horrible than they were.

The angels told Lot to escape to the mountains… and “Don’t look back.” And in all this Lot seems a bit ungrateful. Instead he argues with them saying “No, let me go to this little city nearby.” They grant his request, and tell him to hurry because they can’t do anything to the city until he and his family get to Zoar.

So they are fleeing the city, and then…. such a sad verse…. verse 26: “But his wife….  from behind him… looked back; and she became a pillar of salt.”  She looked back. And why is that so bad? Was she looking for her friends? Was she trying to get one last glimpse of what had been her home? WHAT IS SO WRONG WITH LOOKING BACK? Did it symbolize that she didn’t trust God’s plan for where she was going? Did she turn to a pillar of salt simply because she disobeyed? It has always seemed a bit harsh to me. But I’m always trying to figure out why that looking back was such a bad thing. All through Jewish history they looked back on what God had done. I can only guess that in her heart she was longing for the “world” she had just left. Like a dog that wants to return to its vomit… like me, when I feel that I miss what the world has to offer instead of simply trusting God and the path of life He has laid out for me.

(kent monkman – lot’s wife)

So God destroys Sodom and Gomorrah…. and He even destroyed what grew on the ground. But God remembered Abraham, and how he stood in the gap for Lot, and He spared the family.For some reason Lot is afraid to stay in Zoar… perhaps he thinks if the people realize he is the only one that escaped from Sodom’s destruction they will always be leery of him…and he will never fit in. He decides to head to the mountains after all.

So, apparently Lot’s daughters don’t dare leave the mountain because they say there is “no man on earth” to lay with them. That wasn’t the case… but either way… they take turns getting their father drunk and sleeping with him. Gross, I know, but I didn’t write the book. From this deception come the lines of the Moabites and the Ammonites, both of which are mentioned several more times in the Bible, and not in a good way.

No matter what our deception… or our justified reasons for it… nothing good comes from pretense or disobedience. What treacherous line have I allowed in my life from taking matters into my own hands and not trusting God? We are still in the book of Genesis and this seems to be a recurring question.

Genesis 18: Is Anything Too Hard For God?

“Now the Lord appeared to Abraham by the oaks of Mamre, while he was sitting at the tent door in the heat of the day. And when he lifted up his eyes and looked…. “

I like this for some reason. Abraham was relaxing in the heat of the day. Doing an ordinary thing… nothing amazingly spiritual was happening… no bands of praise… no singing… no great event… just sitting in the heat of the day. Abraham must have always had a “God” consciousness… and God felt welcomed by him at any time… and not only welcomed… but God also, obviously, wanted to visit Abraham’s household. Is my home “inviting” to God? Is my attitude? Is my life?

(Leslie Anderson, Pulling Weeds, shantiart.com)

Abraham recognized God immediately… and he RAN to Him. When I’m involved in my daily, often boring, routine… do I recognize God? Do I recognize Him in the little things of everyday? Or do I feel there has to be something significant going on at the moment? Do I have to get myself “prepared” or “in the mood” to see God? To recognize Him? And when I do see Him in my “everyday” do I RUN to meet Him? Do I drop everything and run and bow to the earth? Or do I think “not now Lord… there’s much to be done.” May that never happen.. and may God forgive me if it does.

vs. 3: “My Lord, if NOW I have found favor in your sight, please do not pass your servant by.” How many times has God wanted to stop and visit me… but I said, whether verbally or with my attitude, “Not now, Lord.” If NOW I have found favor in your sight… I pray that at any given moment I can say “If NOW I’ve found favor … please do not pass me by.” How many times have I been passed by when God roamed… because at that moment I didn’t find favor. 😦  Abraham longed for nothing more than to offer rest and to be a servant.  May that be me.

So God is here and He announces that the time is near… that the next year at this time Sarah would have a baby. Sarah laughed “within herself.” Doesn’t say she laughed so anyone could hear her. But God did. And He knew her spirit. God knows MY spirit that intimately as well. He knows all of our spirits… He gave Cain a warning about what was happening in his spirit. And He heard the laughter in Sarah’s. Does God hear my spirit laugh? Does He hear its sobs? Its cries? Its silent screams?  He is EVER NEAR… He hears. 

So Sarah basically says… “Hey.. .Abraham and I are both old and I can’t imagine that EITHER of us could physically find pleasure in each others’ company.” (my paraphrase).  And THIS… THIS part I LOVE.   God responds with “WHY did Sarah laugh?? Is anything too difficult for the LORD?  Is ANYTHING too hard?? Sometimes I get overwhelmed with the vast impossibility that is my current situation.  But when I read that verse… “IS ANYTHING TOO DIFFICULT FOR GOD?” It shuts me up… immediately… I can only sit in awe and ponder.

The next line is KEY. “At the appointed time… I will return to you.”  At the appointed time. Wow. Abraham had been given the promise from God when he was in his 70’s.  Now he is 99.  And it’s STILL not time?? God definitely has HIS times and HIS seasons. If we had a season chart it would be SO helpful. But God has his APPOINTED times. He knows exactly when the promise should be fulfilled in our lives. He knows what can stop us from reaching our potential. He knows if something happens too soon we might get distracted and go another way. I would be happy to work with God’s timeline if He would just clue me in.

Sarah denied her laughter out of fear. Perhaps thinking she could get away with it because she laughed within herself. God didn’t chastise her. He simply corrected her.

God debated momentarily whether or not He should tell Abraham what He was about to do to Sodom. But before He administered the punishment, He was going to check out the city to see if it was as bad as “its” cry. What cried out?? The righteous people? I always wonder about that… While God stayed and reasoned with Abraham, the angels went on ahead.

God reasons with Abraham and intercedes on behalf of the people. Probably not just because his nephew Lot was there… but because Abraham had a righteous heart. A sort heart. A heart with a burden and a love for people. Can you imagine saying to God… “Far be it for you to do such a thing?” But here we are given a glimpse into how God protects His own. Abraham begs Him not to treat the righteous and the wicked the same. And in verse 26 God is willing to spare the wicked for the sake of the righteous few. As we will see in the next chapter… God does NOT spare the city.. but He spares Lot and his family.

 

Genesis 17: Baby’s On The Way

Abram is now 99, and it’s been some time since God spoke to him directly… that we are made aware of anyway. Personally, I hate those dry times… where I thirst and thirst for a word from Him… and not a drop comes. But God does come to Abram and begins with “I am God Almighty (El Shaddai)  Walk before me and be blameless… and I will establish that covenant I made with you.” At this point… in verse 5… God changes Abram’s name. It now means “father of many.” The promise hadn’t come yet… but God wanted Abram to get it down in his spirit. Call yourself “father of many.” Others will call you “father of many.”  God knew that what Abram would hear himself say over and over.. .and hear others say about him over and over… would grow in his spirit and strengthen his faith. That’s how faith and confession works.

So Abram is now Abraham. God repeats His covenant bond to Abraham in in verse 9 He reminds him of his part. “Now as for YOU… you shall keep my covenant.”  We all have our part to do … and it is to be “obedient” to what God says. The sign of the covenant was circumcision. Not an easy thing for all of those older men to do… but it was done. It wasn’t an option for them.

Verse 15: “Now, as for Sarai… (Sarah shall be her name.” Sarah means Princess.)  God reminds Abraham that Sarah will bear him a child… and for some reason Abraham is still fighting this idea. He claims it is his age… yet he should know God can do what He said.  He was OLD. Perhaps he didn’t want anymore children running around? Regardless of the reason, Abraham falls on his face before God and laughs. He asks God to let Ishmael be the one the promise comes through. At this point God names the son… Isaac… which means “laughter.”  God knew already that Sarah would also laugh when she heard it. Or is it “laughter” because this child would bring “rejoicing?”

There are a few interesting things happening here.

It is no mistake that Isaac, the son of the promise, would be conceived AFTER God formed His covenant with Abraham. Ishmael, the son of Hagar, was born of a bondwoman… Isaac was born of a free woman. All of these little things point to freedom and grace that will come through Jesus Christ.

Genesis 16: What Was She Thinking?

Now it gets interesting. Almost a soap opera… except God allows nothing to happen without a purpose. Sarai does something that is just NOT natural for any woman. Since it doesn’t look like she is going to have an offspring soon, she tells Abram he should sleep with her maid. That way, Abram will have a baby born in his house and thus, an heir. We all agree she is nuts. BUT… she thinks she is thinking of her husband. She probably had good intentions. BUT she FAILED to wait on God. And what about righteous faithful Abram? Abram listened to the voice of Sarai. Just verses before he was believing God and had it reckoned to him as righteousness. But I wonder… how much time had passed since God made His promise? Did the waiting cause Abram to wonder? Was he beginning to lose hope? To question what he heard?

Does the waiting cause YOU to wonder? Does it make you listen to a voice other than God’s? And does that voice appear to have reason because it makes sense in the natural? Do you try to find ways to help God along like Sarai did? I do… and it usually ends up with me in a disastrous and compromising situation. Friends, never… ever… try to help God along. Only be obedient to a specific word from Him. In Abram and Sarai’s day, God was speaking directly. Often we lament and wish God would still do the same today… but guess what… He DOES. We are so far beyond their day. We have the written Word. We have His spirit within us which we are told will lead us into all truth.  We think God needs our help. We do things that we think only make good sense. But we must realize that God doesn’t work in the natural realm only… He words in the SUPERnatural realm. What is unnatural to us is natural for Him. For NOTHING is impossible with God.

Don’t get me wrong… there are steps we need to take in the natural realm for certain things. We know God wants us to be in good health. We don’t drink 10 cups of coffee, 8 bottles of soda, smoke 2 packs a day and eat a box of Pop-tarts and expect Him to keep us healthy.

Back to Sarai and Hagar and Abram. Abram accepts Sarai’s suggestion, and he takes Hagar as a wife. She conceives… and knowing she conceived and that Sarai couldn’t gave way for pride to arise in her. “And when Hagar saw that she had conceived, her mistress (Sarai) was despised in her sight.”  Now, you have two disgruntled women.

Sarai pleads to Abram. She vows she was wrong. She says “I gave my maid into  your arms…” How heartbreaking for her to even say those words. To envision in her mind the nights Hagar spent with Abram. Now… it’s coming to a horrible place. At this point, Abram tells Sarai “She’s your maid… do with her whatever you think is good.” Instead of kicking her out… Sarai keeps her around but mistreats her. She probably felt she still needed to help God out, if only for the baby’s sake. Hagar can only put up with so much abuse, however, and she takes off.

Here’s Hagar… pregnant and running away. She makes it only so far when an angel comes to her and says “Hagar… where have you come from and where are you going?”  So much is unsaid in that question. Hagar says “I’m running away… I’m fleeing… that’s where I’m going. From the presence of my mistress, Sarai. That’s where I’ve been.”  She had been a maid… and being an obedient maid she went to Abram as his wife. Hagar was undoubtedly a young, beautiful woman. She probably had other dreams besides marrying an 80 year old man. But she was obedient to her mistress… he boss. Yet when she conceived she allowed pride to come in. It was her ruin.

Where have you come from Hagar? And where are you going? If you ever want to sort your life out and get perspective… ask yourself those same questions… and write out your answers.

Her answer was “to flee,” but God gave her another order. He said “Return… and submit yourself to your mistress’ authority.” In other words, humble yourself, go back to where you made your mistake, and make it right. Oh how I would NOT have wanted to hear those words… and I DON’T like the lesson I must take away from them.

The angel of the Lord promises Hagar that her descendants will also be “too many to count.” But with the blessing of a child will also come heartache. “Everyone’s hand will be against him.” The baby’s name will be “Ishmael, which means “The Lord has heard your affliction.” So she returns, and bears her son. As far as we know she must have submitted to Sarai’s authority because she’s still in the household some 15 to 20 years later.

Genesis 15: All These Things

“After these things… the word of the Lord came to Abram in a vision…” 

After what things??  After Abram was doing nothing more than being faithful in his everyday life. He had gone back to the beginning… back to where it all started. He had already been promised that he would be a great nation. But God didn’t take Him to that promise immediately. He was just living his life… raising and training his household… rescuing his nephew.  Abram was doing nothing more than being faithful in the little things. He wasn’t even hearing big things from God on a daily basis… but he remained faithful in his daily walk and how he lived his daily life.

There are days when I don’t hear from God. When I don’t feel His presence… when I feel like I’m wandering far outside His gates. Those days I am tempted to hear my own voice… to make decisions based on the fact that I feel God has left me. May I learn to be like Abram… to be faithful in the mundane and hold fast to God’s promises.

God came to Abram in a vision… took him outside and told him to count the stars… and that would be the number of his descendents. It was a seemingly impossible promise in the natural.

And then comes beautiful verse 6: “THEN… he believed in the Lord….”  Why THEN? Well, what were Abram’s other choices? To say “Sure, I doubt it.”? He could have… but instead he BELIEVED God… and it was counted as righteousness on Abram’s part. He made a decision to stand firm and hold fast to what God promised. The Hebrew word for believe, ” ‘aman, ” translates “support, confirm, uphold, to be established, lasting, verified.”  Oh if I could only BELIEVE God continually… in the everyday trials of life. If I could just keep counting stars, instead of counting the things that seem to be taken away.

So Abram believed God for his offspring… and God also tells him he will possess the promised land. For some reason… Abram wanted a sure sign from God that the land promise was true. At this point God makes a blood covenant with Abram.

God made a covenant with you and Me as well… to let us know He will remain true to His Word and His promises. The sacrifice for that covenant was Jesus.